My dearest Jabu and Simba,
Five long years have passed since the day you Jabu climbed the rainbow bridge all so suddenly. I was never prepared. Is one really ever ready for such events that engulf oneself so unexpectedly? The bitter truth is one isn’t, never.
Separation from you and our pack members has each time come so abruptly, I was always left wondering which window of chance I left open that cruel fate could so stealthily crawl in.
Your father Shaka, who is missed each day, looked at me so full of pain that I had to set aside all grief and release him from agony. A fate that your mother Zulu, the love of my life shared not so long ago. Both your parents looked into my eyes full of trust and left me with a feeling that I couldn’t save them with all the tools at my disposal. Helpless, I have felt each time.
Separation from you my boy was extremely hard as it was swift . I never imagined your life slipping away on my very hand. That heaviness on my palm is impossible to obliterate.
Simba, you were a loner and a sentimental boy and always decided for yourself. You didn’t even allow me to say goodbye . There wasn’t an inkling of doubt that we would be so rudely separated. You decided it was enough and just left, leaving me fumbling with my emotions and a heart that was torn.
When a visitor to Dhole’s Den sees the plaque Simba’s Den, I gladly narrate your story in short as to how you ended up having a room called after yourself. It’s become a space where my heart is together with you in solitude.
Now when I look back and remember the one scene that comes to my mind is Simba lying there not so strong and I begging him to hang on and get well soon. I remember my words very well which I said with tears in my eyes: Simba my boy, just get well soon, Papa loves you so much. You Simba answered it with a swift a lick on my face. Something that I miss each day and wish that fateful day had never dawned in Bandipur.
The rainbow as is seen has two ends and each depicting arrival and departure as one may see it and a colourful band of seven visible to the human eye connecting the two ends. Science tells me there are no colours but only frequencies and the colours are just in my brain. This band connects arrival and departure, death and birth, hope and despair and we humans look up in the sky to see the myriad colours bands, oblivious to the two ends that every rainbow has.
My dear Jabu, the apple of my eye, my child, you were someone who never ever complained about any challenge or adversity, I am thankful and fortunate to have lived almost 9 years with you, roaming the grounds at Dhole’s Den, chasing hares, and spending endless hours with your gaze into infinity. On your 14th birthday I imagine you at Jabu’s Corner and Simba looking for me every now and then and following me up the spiral staircase to the terrace at Ekant. You Simba were inseparable from me as if you had to be my shadow. You never allowed anyone to take you away from where I was. And your niece, my heartthrob Ulinda is no different. She seems to have inherited two wonderful qualities: One from you of not leaving me and of not being afraid of anything and the second one from Zulu of waking me up with a kiss.
Today is your 14th birthday and it is with gratitude that I look back at the years we have spent here in the wilderness. How magical it was when your mum Zulu brought you into this world before my very eyes so that I may experience what I had missed out. Even your departure from here for some months and eventual return had a deeper reason and made me see where I belonged, lest in my pride I would forget. Yes I so wish we were together forever but that will happen someday, I am hopeful and till then will take care of the generations that have come after you and the canines that walk into my life, who I sometimes think are sent by you to look after my heart making sure it’s filled with love and happiness just as you did.
And you my Jabu did walk up that rainbow bridge and to my wonder descended making us happy when we held you in our hands as Jabu Junior to live on with not just a gaze into infinity but in your present avatar, knowing how to complain and demand all that is at your disposal be it the goodies or goat cheese or the blanket made by my mother.
The circle of life has unfolded before us allowing us to smile and laugh at every memory of yours and the mood of your offspring, enriching our lives and teaching me the very fact of life that we so easily forget: Love conquers all and everything!
Forever yours,
Karthik